At church my mom completely ignored me. That's actually what I was hoping for, because the last thing I wanted was to have a discussion right there. But this afternoon she called. She started crying, and said she was sorry. I told her that I can forgive her, but the trust is broken. Which made her cry even more. And then she hung up on me.
When she called back 15 minutes later, DH answered the phone. He told her that we forgive her, but he is still upset about the way she disregarded our direct request. We could care less about the photos - its the fact that the photos showed us that she had disrespected what we had clearly asked her to not do.
In both conversations, neither DH or I ever raised our voices, or said anything more harsh than "we are hurt by what you did". My mom started crying, because that's what she does. Maybe she really does feel bad...who knows. My mom asked DH if he would dare to speak to his own mom like that. His response? I would if I had to. She then asked why everyone else got to be excited about the baby, but she was not allowed to (another guilt-trip play). We kept telling her over & over this has NOTHING to do with DH's parents, and it was completely inappropriate to bring them up at all in the conversation.
And now the mean texts have started from my little brother. All he sees is that Sarah & DH "yelled" at mom, and now mom is crying. He has no idea what the real issue is, and he does not need to. Its not his business. But he's trying to make it his business.
Merry Freaking Christmas.
So not looking forward to Christmas Eve. AT ALL.
Our journey...
6 comments:
you can remind her that her current behaviour is a main reason you didn't want to tell her early in a first place - because you knew she would not respect you enough to keep that secret. And her last actions proves you right in that regard. it's sad really.
At this point, what's done is done. Its sad she did what she did. We let her know that the trust is broken, and that won't easily be regained.
What's really bad is that DH is so worked up about it that he had a panic attack this afternoon :(
Sorry to hear that she didn't respect your wishes. Don't let her ruin your Christmas!
Uh oh....not good, especially around the holidays :(
AND OMG, people are out cutting the grass at work? And weed wacking, and hoing, etc...dude it's 20 degrees out...and they are RIGHT oustide my window...how annoying...sorry had to vent lol
This crying/guilt trip seems to be your mom's way of dealing with things...my mom's the same way at times. I'm not sure how big your family is for Christmas or Christmas Eve, but this time next year, you and DH will have your own family, and your own traditions to make. (like that Kay commercial, where the mom is on the rocking chair and the guy asks if the baby will remember, and the woman says 'I know I will' Okay really...you just had a baby and he spent how much on a ring? NOT REALITY lol). Anywho....maybe this year you can start early and say that you will spend the holidays alone (you, DH and LO in the belly). This way there is no added stress at the holiday?
DH and I may be doing that this year b/c we are supposed to go out of state to do xmas eve, but he's working that day, and 2 years ago when we went last, it took over 4 hours to get there (normally a 20 minute drive). I told him I'm all for family for the holidays, but not for a 4 hour drive, to stay there for 2 hours then drive back home. lol
I'm sorry that your mom is being like this. To look on the bright side, your DH stood up for you and didn't take any of your mom's crap. Just try to make it through Christmas.
My mother's a lot like yours...kind of does what she wants and to Hell with the consequences. I hope Christmas itself is better for you :)
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