2013 Goals Update

When I wrote these goals for the year back in December, I had no ideal what we were in for. Our two big goals were:

1. Have another kid

2. Pay off remaining credit card debt. $24,500

We technically met #1. Maybe I should have clarified that a bit more, since I really wanted to keep her and not just have her. I've listened, Universe, and will be MUCH more specific next time I put something out there.

As for the second goal, we are actually doing pretty well. Not quite on-track, but considering the circumstances I am happy with our progress. Here are the numbers:

Credit Cards:

1/1/2013 Start: $24,500

8/31/2013 Current: $16,522.93

Total paid = $7,977.07

Total Debt:

1/1/2013 Start: $62,300.13

8/31/2013 Current: $50,262.05

Total paid = $12,038.08

We are 2/3rds of the way through the year, and so far we have paid off more than we did last year. I think that is pretty successful! We've also averaged $1,500/month payoffs on our total debt. Not quite the $2050 that we had aimed for in the beginning, but that's ok. Still 50% more than our monthly payoffs last year, and that's with a $450/month pay cut for me. So I guess if you look at what we've paid each month + the paycut, that comes out close to our original goal. So I like to think that we are still on-track :)

And After!

One day of HARD work later, this is what our room looks like:

I am really happy with the way it turned out! I spent about $200 total on it:

$30 paint (2 gallons wall paint + 1 can spray paint)
$100 bedding (new sheets, bedskirt (not on yet), throw pillows)
$27 lamps from Dollar General - spray painted orange
$40 curtains - energy saving panels to help with our drafty windows!

Our room now feels like a retreat instead of a cluttered chaotic mess. I hope having some place safe and calm to relax in is helpful for DH and I.

Bedroom Makeover

Here's what I am working with:

Looking in from the hall to DH's dresser

Standing in the closet looking at the bed 

 Looking at my dresser & the linen closet

There are really only a couple of places where our bed can go. Pretty much in front of one of the windows. The plan is to move the bed to the other window and move the dressers to the short wall by the linen closet. Those are the only two walls with outlets, so I hope this move eliminates some of the extension cords run around the room as well. 

One week down....

Saying goodbye

Well, we've survived this first week. It's so weird, in some ways it feels like we never even had a baby. We knew we wouldn't be bringing her home, so there was no baby paraphernalia around the house. No car seat installed in the car. Her things have all been placed into a storage tub and set in my closet. The rest of life has moved on...and I feel kind of stuck. It's a weird feeling. I had months to prepare for this and kind of feel relieved that it is finally over. I want to move on - just trying to figure out how to make that happen.

I weighed in this morning at 127.6. That means I am down 21lbs since I delivered last week and only 6lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Apparently it is pretty easy to lose weight when you really just don't want to eat. Trying to make myself eat three meals a day with healthy food options (produce and lean proteins, few sugars and limiting salts). Drinking a lot of water and iced tea to stay hydrated.

What a difference a week makes

I need some kind of project to keep me busy. I am working on organizing our house and getting things in order. Guess it's a weird form of nesting. Since I don't get a nursery to paint and decorate, I told DH that I wanted to re-do our bedroom. It's the one room we have done NOTHING with. I would describe it as dorm-room chic. It's really just a random hodge podge of furniture. So I am trying to pull it all together. Some paint, some curtains, and some new sheets. Moving things around so that we have a better "flow" and maximize the space. I think it will do me a lot of good to have a nice, settled space to relax in.

For those who asked

SIL did end up setting up a donation site for us after Aubree was born. I still am not sure how I feel about it, but we've had several friends and family members ask what they could do to help us, and this is honestly the best thing right now. Our freezer is already full of casseroles ;)

The plan is to pay off our medical bills and get things back on-track. Still makes me feel kind of weird to see it though. I would gladly be in debt for the rest of our lives if it meant we could have kept her :(

Something to do

I have to say, post-partum recovery is a million times easier without having a newborn to take care of. Not that I wouldn't give EVERYTHING I have to have her still here with us. Just trying to find some positive things to focus on right now.

Last Monday when I went to the doctor I was 148.8lbs. Coming home after delivery I was down to 136.8 (which seems normal for baby + fluid weight). Just weighed myself today and I am down to 131.2. I started at 122, so I have about 10lbs to go. Might be a lot harder this time since I am not nursing. I am trying to make sure I drink a full 8 glasses of water each day and I have been focusing on healthier food choices. Getting in lots of fresh fruits and veggies, lots of low-fat protein sources, taking my vitamins. Avoiding processed/salty/fried foods as much as I can.

Since we want to try again as soon as possible, I also need to get my body really healthy again. I just put in a large order on Amazon for some supplements a close nurse friend had recommended to help build up the necessary nutrients in my body to get ready to support another pregnancy. They usually take a few months to get build up, so I am starting now. It makes me feel like I can DO something, even though there's really not a lot I can actually do right now.

Thanks to the belly/hip belts, I am back in my normal clothes (got the pants on the day after I gave birth, was able to button & zip all the way three days after). I seriously think it's all due to those belts. I washed them this morning while we were at church & thought I would just wear a flowy dress and let my tummy rest since I've pretty much been wearing them 24/7 since we came home. By the time we got home I had a hard time buttoning my pants again and felt like my insides were hanging out. Belts are back on and I feel much more supported now :) Maternity clothes have all been lent to SIL so I don't even have them at home to fall back on. Pretty good motivation to stay on top of it!

Tomorrow I am going to start some easy exercises. Mainly walking - I am planning to take DD out shopping and maybe to the park. Walking and pushing a stroller is great exercise, and the belts help me keep my posture in-line. Hopefully this will help get my abs strong enough for another pregnancy. And being active really helps my mood, which is needed right now. I am holding it together pretty well right now since we had so long to prepare for this, but I do have my random crying spells. Focusing on something positive and taking steps to move forward should help a lot.

Happy Birthday to Me...I guess

This week was my 30th birthday. Definitely not how I had imagined it would be. I really wanted to just forget about it. But DH was sweet and took me out for lunch and got me some lovely presents, and then we had to go to the funeral home to make final arrangements for Aubree. This week our mailbox has been a strange mix of sympathy cards and birthday cards.

I really hope 31 is a million times better.

I am feeling kind of down right now. I see big families, and DH and I have always dreamed of having several kids. But being 1:3 on successful pregnancies, I just don't see that happening any time soon. Those really aren't great odds. We've talked about adoption, but neither of us are quite ready for that process yet (and we sure as hell can't afford it). I am hoping my doctor gives us clearance to start trying again as soon as we are ready. I can't overlap my time off at work, so I really can't get pregnant before November. Which is fine, I don't think it will happen again that fast. Well, maybe, who knows. I seem to have no problem getting pregnant, just having a hard time keeping them until they are full term. Seems weird to be talking about it only days after we lost Aubree, but we had months to prepare for that and I think we both will be ready to try again sooner rather than later. And it's not like I am getting any younger, so I don't want to wait too long.I really want 2-3 more kids before I turn 35 and my odds get even worse.

I do get full medical leave from work. So I have five more weeks before I need to go back. It will be nice to have the time to focus on Aly and getting our lives back in order. I really want to work on potty training with her soon. We tried it at the beginning of July and she did alright, but I just didn't have the energy to stick with it. I also want to get some things organized and get back into cooking and planning meals regularly. And I would like to get back to a regular workout routine (although I really can't start that until after 6 weeks). Hopefully having the other things worked out will give me enough time to focus on getting back in shape and staying healthy.

Speaking of getting in shape, I've been wearing a belly binder since about 10 hours after Aubree was born. It's three days later, and I can fit into my regular pants and zip them up! I was a bit skeptical, but I have to say, it's working really well. And the added support feels amazing! I only take it off to use the restroom or to shower. I think it's helped with the post-partum bleeding too. With DD it seemed to go on for a long time, but this time around it's almost done. I didn't get the expensive binders (because I am too cheap). I just got a $5 one from Walmart (Gold's Gym athletic belt) and another one I found on clearance at Babies R Us. I wear one down over my hips and up to my belly button. Then I put the other at the bottom of my bustline and overlap on the stomach. I am wearing them over clothes right now too, which helps to wick away the water weight that is getting sweated out and keeps the bands off my skin.

An Angel's Birthday

Aubree was born straight into the arms of Jesus on 8/13/2013.

It's been awhile since I updated

Financially we are treading water. The medical bills just about equal any progress we make each month, but at least we are not diving backwards. We are almost to our OOP max for the year (should hit it as soon as the last few bills are processed), so we should be able to make traction once that's done. Our 2013 goals set in January are probably shot, but just the fact that we are not going backwards right now is amazing.

As for Aubree, she's still hanging in there. Despite ALL odds. Right now she's pushing her head against my hip and trying to break the ribs on my right side with her feet ;) My lower rib actually sticks out a bit now!! I've got updates on her here.

And there may be good news regarding our home. A large IT company in the area recently announced that it purchased a large section of abandoned property near our home. They plan to bring in 15,000 jobs! I am hoping that helps bring more people to the neighborhood that need a place to buy or rent.